The first tri

 

Version 2

First trimester week by week: The good, the bad, and the ugly. A collection of thoughts and experiences from a mom-to-be…

Week 4: We found out we were pregnant about 5 days before my 31st birthday, so happy, but also almost immediately I started feeling a lot of pain, which felt extremely similar to the type of pain I had in my last ectopic pregnancy… so I of course start to freak out that it was happening again. Saw the doc, they advised me to stay put and not fly to one of my good friend’s wedding in CO in case it was another ectopic (it was still too early to tell) and didn’t want to risk rupture while on the plane or while I was there. It’s both magical and complicated, coming off such a high just days after our amazing trip to Israel. I am hopeful, but definitely worried.

Week 5-6: We confirm that the pregnancy is normal! It is in uterus, and that the pain I felt was most likely residual from the previous one or implantation pain.

To be honest, the next few weeks are a blur… every day is a challenge because I don’t really believe that this pregnancy will last. I go up and down. I tried to be positive and keep it together. It was very hard to keep quiet, and I feel a lot of PTSD from the previous losses. I try to reach out to pregnancy loss support groups, but my efforts are unsuccessful. The groups are primarily for people who experienced loss further along than I had (*note to self, it’s a good idea to provide early pregnancy loss support). Time has helped, and I do what I can to get through the fears.
Cravings: The main thing I remember is how Mac and cheese always sounds like a good idea… D remedies this by buying me 12-packs of Annie’s organic shells & cheese at Costco 😉

Week 9: So now I’m at the point that I can’t fit into most pants unless they are super stretchy… onto buying maternity clothes for job interviews! Oh yes, after almost 8 months of trying to start my own business, and working part time and trying to figure out my next step career-wise, when do I finally get a windfall of responses and interviews? Just after I find out I’m pregnant of course 😉 as if that doesn’t add to the stress! But it is all a blessing. I also love baths but fear them for over-heating the baby, so stop taking baths…

Weeks 10-14: Lots of anxiety and stress that the pregnancy won’t succeed, I don’t really want people to know, so we keep everything quiet except tell our family at 11 weeks so that they are in the know no matter what happens, but it’s a stressful time… job interviews are welcome but feel like a wrecking ball thrown into this emotional mix. Week 13 I get 3 job offers… when it rains it pours!

Takeaways?? The first trimester was really just getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and that it was happening- all happening! After I started getting used to the idea, things started clicking together for me. But much of it is really impossible to know or feel until you’re going through it, especially after pregnancy loss. There is so much information out there also, and you are feeling so many different emotions. You really just have to go with your gut, and that is something that I reminded myself throughout the pregnancy.

Some first trimester must-haves:
– pregnancy tea (I loved this one!)
– a pregnancy journal to start writing down your thoughts
– cocoa butter (I used this literally every day since I found out I was pregnant and it was so worth it in the end)
– your favorite pregnancy apps & video blogs to check out as questions come up in between doctor/midwife appts, etc… (The Bump, and Channel Mum were a favorite of mine)
– “Expecting Better” – by Emily Oster… game changing book good to read early in pregnancy

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